


Until Now

by skydust



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy, Mystery Shack, Older Dipper Pines, Oneshot, Self-Insert, Teenage Dipper Pines, if you hate fluff this aint for you, this is so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 16:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skydust/pseuds/skydust
Summary: Dipper has felt like this about you for as long as he can remember, but you didn't realize it until now.





	Until Now

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Dipper/Reader fic so I hope that you enjoy! Please keep in mind, the reader and Dipper are teenagers (17 years old specifically!) I also tried to keep this story gender neutral!

10:48 p.m.

You knock on the door of the Mystery Shack, hoping he will actually answer this time.

Dipper has not talked to you or contacted you for 6 days, and you have absolutely no idea why. Anytime you came by to try to speak with him, he was never home. But you _know_ that he’s home on Friday nights, because that’s when his dumb ghost movie marathons happen. You knock on the door again.

No answer.

You peer through the window. The room is dark, but the light from the T.V. illuminates it. You see the back of Dipper’s head. He is facing towards the T.V.

Frustrated, you now pound on the door, not even taking into consideration that Stan and Mabel might be sleeping. He’s making the situation way more difficult than it has to be. You just want to figure out what you did wrong, apologize and move on. But Dipper Pines—

He is one stubborn kid.

“Ugh!” you grunt, kicking the door. You pause for a moment, trying to figure out a way to get into the shack. You turn your head towards the window again, and notice that it’s slightly cracked open. Suddenly, a smirk appears on your face.

You quietly push open the window, being careful so that it doesn’t creak. You cautiously climb through, putting your legs through first. You wiggle your way in and delicately land on the floor. 

You’re not quite sure if Dipper is sleeping or not, but you shake the thought once you remember this boy has been sleep deprived ever since grade school (believe it or not, he used to constantly fall asleep in class.) He _has_ to be awake. You decide to sneak up on him and scare him. Bad idea? Maybe so, but he’s already pissed at you to begin with. So you have nothing to lose. You begin crawling towards the tattered, rickety couch. You slowly stand up and steadily move closer to him. 

“MASON!” you yell a little bit louder than you should have. You laugh and ruffle his hair, hoping to get a reaction out of him, since you know he hates hearing his real name. 

But he didn’t react.

At all.

He kept his head towards the T.V. In fact, he didn’t even flinch. Your laughing fades and you squint out of confusion. You walk around the couch and sit down next to him. 

You sit in silence for a few moments, then glare at the T.V. “What are you watching?” you quietly ask.

No reply.

You observe the reflection from the television in his hazel eyes, and look back at the screen. A pet food commercial is playing. “There’s no way you are that invested in a damn dog food advertisement, Dipper,” you scoff. You are starting to get really irritated now. 

Just when you think he’s going to speak, instead, he picks up the remote and flips through the channels. You get up and stand in front of the T.V., blocking his view. You try to remain as calm as possible. “I don’t know what I did to you that made you this angry, but we aren’t gonna be able to resolve it if you just ignore me like this.”

Still, no answer. He doesn’t even lean over to the side to try to see the T.V. He just keeps looking forward. This is unusual for him. You can usually get him to talk by now when he gets in this kind of mood. You must have done something pretty bad this time. 

Enraged, you grab the remote from his hand and turn of the T.V. The room is now dark. 

“I’m so damn tired of you acting like this. Look, I’m sorry for whatever I did. You’re almost 18 man, stop acting like a child,” you rant. It’s almost pitch black, so you can’t tell if he’s actually listening to you or not; or if he’s even in front of you anymore. You walk over to the lamp aside the couch and switch it on. 

You turn back to see Dipper sitting there, reading a book.

This kid is nothing if not the most difficult, most uncooperative, most _awkward_ person you have ever met in your entire life. 

You can’t even process how furious you are now. You feel your face heating up and your palms sweating. You grab his book and throw it on the ground. You climb on top of his lap and you put your hands on his shoulders. “Just _talk to me_!” you shout, and shake his entire body. “Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me!” you repeat.

And then you stop.

You feel something.

You don’t know whether to scream, cry, or laugh your ass off.

You go with the 3rd option.

“Oh my _god!_ ” you yell and jump off of his lap. “Did you get a _boner_ from that?”

His face is bright red. You have never seen Dipper look so embarrassed. And you see him embarrassed a _lot_.

“I—uh,” Dipper utters. That’s the most he has talked all night. You collapse to the couch, cackling so much that you start to lose your breath. Your eyes begin to tear up.

“Just get the fuck out, would you?” Dipper snapped. He bolts up from the couch and angrily storms up the stairs.

Your laughing immediately comes to a halt. You sit alone on the couch, completely stunned. Your eyes follow Dipper as he leaves the room. You barely ever heard him curse. He may not have much patience, but it can take a lot to make him swear. That’s when you know you pushed him to his limit.

—

After sitting on the couch in silence for awhile, you decide to go upstairs and try to talk to Dipper one more time. 

You stand in front of his door, debating over whether you should knock or not. You decide against it, and you slowly open the door. The room is dark, except for the moonlight leaking in from the window. Mabel isn’t there, but you turn to the left and see Dipper sitting on his bed. The room has an eerie silence, with crickets calmly chirping in the background.

“Sleep deprived?” you gently break the stillness. Dipper looks up, probably thinking that it’s Mabel. He turns his head back down. You sigh. 

You make your way towards his bed and sit alongside of him. You glance to see him with his hands intertwined, focusing on the floor. No anxious movements. It’s unusual to see him so serene.

You look around the room and you admire the fact that it has remained the same for the past 5 years. You got along so well with them as kids, but you do admit as you have gotten older, your relationship with Dipper has taken a real hit. You’re not really sure why. He just seemed to distance himself from you. You used to be able to joke around with him, but now he seems to take every little thing to heart. When you were both kids, he was a little serious, but you and Mabel were able to get him to be goofy and to show his lighthearted side. You wish that the humorous part of him would return. You wish that he would open up to you.

Dipper’s skin glows from the various shades of blue and purple of the night sky casting throughout the room. He sternly stares at the ground with his eyebrows furrowed. You wish you knew what was happening in that pretty little mind of his. You always admired how he looked when he was focused on something. Whether it was with the mysteries he’s always trying to solve, or a sci-fi book he is reading, he always had that same endearing concentration face that you can’t help but adore.

Your eyes widen and you shake your head, thinking that you said that aloud for a moment. 

You clear your throat. “I just… want to say,” you begin speaking, “I think I know why you're upset. And—“

Dipper faces you. “Do you _really_ know?” he interrupts. You freeze. “Do you actually know why I’m angry with you? I sure as hell don’t think so.”

You don’t actually know why he’s upset. You’re not sure why you said that.

He sarcastically laughs. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.” 

You physically feel your face becoming pale as Dipper gets up from the bed. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed or whatever,” he mumbles. He opens his messy, overflowing dresser and grabs a shirt and shorts. He walks out of the bedroom, never looking back at you. He slams the door behind him.

You fall back, collapsing on his bed. A tear rolls down your cheek. You both get in fights with each other more often than you’d like to admit, but this one was different. You are usually able to make up with each other over your pointless, petty arguments within a day. But not this time. 

You sit back up, deciding that it’s probably a good idea for you to leave before Dipper returns to his room. You stand up and look around the room once more. You take a deep breath. The room even smells exactly the same as it did so many years ago. You glance at his nightstand that has piles and piles of what seemed to be unimportant papers, until you see one paper in particular. You blink your eyes to ensure you are reading it correctly. You pick up the wrinkled sheet.

In surprisingly well written handwriting is your name, at the very top of the page.

Your heart drops.

You look up for a moment, worried that Dipper could walk in any second. You contemplate whether or not you should actually read it. Maybe it will help you to figure out what’s wrong and why he’s acting like this towards you. Right?

You exhale and look back down at the paper. _Y/N._

_I’m not a poet, so I’m not going to write some heart filled lovey-dovey crap. I’m not gonna write with a thesaurus at my side, attempting to find words that describe how Y/N is the most gorgeous person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’m just going to write about how I feel, right from the heart. Completely raw thoughts about how Y/N makes me feel._

You look up from the paper once more, and hold it tightly. Shit. 

_God, this is heaven and hell all combined into one. I like Y/N so much. So, so much. I don’t want to say love because I don’t know if it is. I mean, I’ve known them since we were kids, and even if I didn’t feel this way about them, I still care about them. So that’s love, right? I wish they knew. So badly. I want them to know how much I really care about them. I wish I wouldn’t act like I don’t care when I really do. I keep pushing them away from me, further and further every single day. And I want to stop, but I can’t. So I just ignore it. I act like my feelings towards them don’t exist. But they do, and I have no idea where to put them, except on paper. By distancing myself from Y/N, I’m not only ruining my chances of having a romantic relationship with them, but I’m also jeopardizing our current friendship. I get angry with them. I yell at them. I ignore them. I wish I wouldn’t do any of that, but I don’t know how else to handle this entire situation. I would say that I want things to be “back to normal,” but ever since I’ve met Y/N, things have never been normal. I hate writing this all down. It reminds me of how stupid I sound. But I can’t help it. This is just exactly how I feel._

You stop reading. Your heart pounds as you look back at the nightstand to see another pile of papers. You pick them up and shuffle through them. Every single one of them has your name at the top. Some of them even have dates. You find some all the way back from 2012, which is the year you first met.

You would feel completely guilty reading the rest of them. You do want to see what else he has written about you, but you feel uncomfortable that he doesn’t know.

You have a million thoughts running through your mind. So many things that you want to ask him.

Why wouldn’t he just tell you? How long has he really felt like this? Is this what he’s mad about? Where should you go from here?

Do you feel the same way about him?

—

Dipper opens the curtain and steps out from the shower. Steam spreads across the room, making it difficult to see. He grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist.

Dipper wipes the mirror with his forearm. He leans on the counter, and stares into his own eyes.

“What the hell are you doing with yourself, man?” he asks his own reflection. 

Dipper’s hands clench and he pounds his fist against the wall. “ _Dammit!”_   he shouts. He grips onto his drenched, dark hair and sighs.

He attempts to get himself together before leaving the bathroom. He slowly puts on his t-shirt and shorts. He’s not exactly sure if you’re still in his room, which is why he is taking his time getting ready for bed.

Once he’s sure you left the shack, he grasps onto the doorknob and turns it. He pushes open the door, but it won’t move.

He jiggles the doorknob with more force. Still nothing.

“What the…” he questions. How did the door end up jamming so— “ _AH!”_   he shrieks.

Dipper ends up opening the door and falling on the floor in the hallway. “What the hell— Y/N?” 

You were sitting against the bathroom door, waiting for Dipper to get out. You were there so that you wouldn’t be tempted to read more of Dipper’s letters about you.

“I’m so sorry Dipper, are you alright? I was just—”

“I’m _fine,_ ” he abruptly states, standing up from the ground. He brushes off his clothing and heads towards his bedroom.

“Are you—“

“I said that I’m _fine_ Y/N! Can you just leave already? I’m tired and I just want to—”

“Are you in love with me?” you blurt. He stops.

You attempt to take a deep breath. “Are you?”

You both stand in the hallway. There’s a foreign feeling that fills the air. You wouldn’t describe it as awkward, as that’s how Dipper probably feels about this situation. It was just an unnatural, unsettling sense. You didn’t necessarily enjoy it, but you know that this is a conversation that has been put off for 5 years. You know that everything you and Dipper are about to say needs to be said.

Dipper just stands there completely dumbfounded. As much as he has written about you, you’d think he would be prepared for this exact moment.

You pull out the paper that you read from your pocket, and carefully unfold it. You hold it up towards him, and wait for his response.

Once again, nothing.

“I only read one…” you pause for a second. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I was just so tired of you acting this way towards me and I thought it would help me figure out what I did wrong.”

Silence.

You start to cry. “Dipper, please just say something,” you plead and get closer to him. He stares at you.

You are inches from his face. “Please.”

“I—um, I…” Dipper stumbles on his words. “Say something, Dipper,” you cry and lightly punch his shoulder. “Just _say_ something to me Dipper, just fucking say _something!”_ Tears uncontrollably fall down your face. You just want him to tell you everything is alright, and that everything _will be_ alright. 

“God, you're so infuriating, you know that? You’re so—” Dipper’s lips come in contact with yours.

You still have your eyes open, and he has his closed. You aren’t really processing what’s happening but you just go with what your mind is telling you to do. Dipper slightly lifts up your shirt and rests his hands on your waist. He gradually moves them towards your back, and they slowly move up and down. You take that as your cue to close your eyes too.

As the kiss picks up the pace, you wrap your arms around Dipper’s neck. He grabs onto your thighs and pulls you up towards him. He carries you to his bedroom and closes the door with his back.

He walks over to his bed and gently lays you on it, never removing his lips from yours. A thought pops into your head, wondering how long he has been wanting to do this. You’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.

You just didn’t realize that until now.

Dipper ends the kiss and moves his lips towards your neck. He kisses it a few times and then stops. “Wait, are you—“

“Okay with this?” you finish his sentence. You had a feeling he would be asking that question eventually.

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Completely.”

Dipper chuckles and returns back to your neck. He kisses the area lightly and moves his way down to your collarbone. You wonder how this boy knew what he was doing, considering you are pretty positive he’s never been in a relationship with anyone before.

“Hold on, Dipper,” you say, not wanting him to stop what he’s doing. But you need to ask him something.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” you ponder. You know that he said in the letter that he didn’t want to ruin your friendship, but you just wanted assurance.

Dipper lifts his body up from yours and sits on the bed with his legs bent, hugging them. He rests his chin on his knees. Adorable.

“I just felt like…” Dipper takes a slight pause. “You would never feel the same way as I did. We have always been just friends. _Best_ friends, I suppose. You, me, and Mabel. We were the trio. I’ve always wanted something more with you, but you just never gave off the vibe that you felt the same way. And it tore me apart.”

You sigh at his response. “Dipper, you should’ve just said something to me. Even if I _didn’t_ feel the same way, I wouldn’t let that ruin our friendship,” you assure him.

“So, you do feel the same way?” Dipper’s eyes light up.

“Would I have let you do all of that if I didn’t?” you joke and ruffle his curly brown hair. You both laugh.

Dipper stares at you. “You are so beautiful. God, you’re amazing. I have no idea why I waited so long. I’m so sorry,” he apologizes. “I can’t believe I did that, I’m so stupid! I’m such an idiot. I need to stop getting so worried about—” 

You grab his face to stop his rambling. You lift up his damp, messy hair to reveal his infamous big dipper birthmark on his forehead. You place a light kiss on it.

“I love you,” you and Dipper simultaneously admit.

Dipper smiles. “I love you. I wish there were other words to describe how much love I have for you.”

You return the smile. You never saw this vulnerable side of Dipper. He seems softer. He looks softer. His skin feels soft. 

Then again, his skin has always been soft.

Just another thing that made him so adorable.

“Well?” you ask.

Dipper looks at you confused. “Well what?”

You smirk, hoping he gets the idea.

Dipper's eyes widen. “Uh, right. Let me just… yeah,” he stammers on, trying to position himself in a way that isn’t awkward. You lay down and he hovers over you, but he doesn’t move.

You roll your eyes and pull him towards you, kissing him, and continuing where you left off.

“Also, I’m reading the rest of those letters after we’re done here,” you whisper. You feel Dipper’s face become hot as he nods his head.

You can’t believe that it took you this long to admit to yourself that you really are in love with this kid.


End file.
